| STORIES THROUGH THE GLORY HOLE — AN LEV8 ORIGINAL
~ by The Tuan
Part 1 of 2:
Dating… the very thought of it conjures up probably the best and worst we would expect of others. Then again, like most; our views of others are often based on our own ethnocentric tendencies. Sociological elements aside, let’s look at the most common varieties of dates:
THE LIAR
Date: We can only meet up on Saturdays after work before 6 pm because 2pm I have my yoga class and later after 6 pm I need to help give math tuition to my niece at Bandar Puteri Cheras.
Me: Maybe drinks after 10 pm?
Date: Oh Sunday I have things to do lor… cannot stay out late.
Me: OK you’re definitely taken!
THE (obvious) LIAR:
Me: I thought you’d be taller than you described yourself.
Date: I’m 175cm!
Me: Hmmmm… you’re barely taller than a post box. 175cm is stretching it a bit!
THE IMPOSTER:
Me: You don’t look like your profile pic.
Date: It’s ok la, it’s the same also what.
Me: That’s like saying gin and vodka are the same thing!
THE BAGGAGE HANDLER
Date: Yeah I’m still thinking about him. He hates me but I still love him so much.
Me: You should check-in your baggage at the oversized counter.
THE GOLD DIGGER
Me: Let’s do dinner.
Date: Where ah? Marble 8? Eleven Madison Park New York?
Me: I’m not an ATM machine!
THE AGEIST
Date: How old are you?
Me: 24 (when I was 24 years old)
Date: Sorry too old! Bye…
THE SEX MACHINE
Date (1.40pm): What are you doing ah? I’m horny…
Me: I actually have to fucking work!!
Date (3.30pm): What are you doing ah? I’m horny…
Me: I actually have to fucking work!!
Date (2.20am): What are you doing ah? I’m horny…
Me: I actually have to fucking sleep!!
Date (11.27am): What are you doing ah? I’m horny…
Me: I actually have to fucking work!!
20s
Well, in my mid-40s I think I’ve seen the bulk of ‘types’ while going on random dates. In my early 20s I think I used to take dating wayyy too seriously. I’d take offence easily and typically end up in the mental dumps. It didn’t help that work, family and life itself wasn’t exactly the best so it was always back to the men. After a while, it wasn’t just about dating but rather the sex itself. One man after another… sometimes two or three a day on weekends. I’d get bored once the whole episode was over and often end up online looking for yet another date; if the spirit was willing.
I guess sowing ones wild oats went a bit too far with some encounters that bordered on unprotected encounters often with seemingly hot individuals. Ultimately it is only human to be human and yielding to ones ‘needs’. That ended one day after catching an STI from someone after a two-night tryst at a hotel. Wasn’t fun feeling the discomfort. Started freaking out seeing discharge (sorry kinda gross but true). Was a nervous wreck heading to the doctors for a barrage of tests and medication. But yes, don’t forget to get tested especially if you’re very ‘active’!